Healing and Hating
by Scarlet Elixir
Summary: A Zutara fic about what happens after Zuko joins the Gaang. Basically, he and Katara nearly kill each other and are forced to try and get along. How will that resolve? How will it affect the group? Rated T for language, some dark themes, sexual references
1. Dreaming

**I love this pairing because they are both so headstrong, but when they get over that and the fact that the universe doesn't want them to be together, they will be so in love, I guarentee it.**

**Let the angst begin!**

**This chapter switches between her point-of-view and his. Hope it's not too confusing…**

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_The crescent moon shone down on the shape of a girl with bright blue eyes and long, brown hair. She stood knee-deep in the shallow fountain, her eyes closed in concentration. She brought her arms up and started to move them around in front of her body. The water surrounding her rose and fell gently in ripples._

_She creased her brow now as the water rose higher and higher, dancing faster and faster. She swayed her hips in time to the silent beat and spun gracefully, in what would seem to be slow motion, as the water followed her every movement._

_If she had not been so focused on her bending, she might have bothered to be more quiet._

_She might have bothered not to make so much noise in fear of waking another, newer member of the Gaang._

_But she was focused, and so she didn't notice when the prince pulled on a shirt and walked outside. She didn't notice when he heard the water and came to see what the matter was. She didn't notice when he turned the corner and stopped, just standing there, watching her body twirl the water into beautiful shapes._

_And he was so focused, he barely noticed when her eyes opened and she saw his shadow on the wall._

_Instantly, the beautiful water fell. All of the water from the fountain rushed up into the air and slammed his body into the wall, then locked his torso to the ground where he fell. Her hair fell onto his neck and he could feel her mouth at his unscarred ear, hissing violently as the cold metal of a dagger pressed against his throat. Her other hand hovered over his chest and he didn't understand why until he tried to speak and found himself unable to breathe._

_She pressed the dagger harder against his neck and drew a thin line of blood. She kept her voice low and flat as she demanded to know who the intruder was._

_She allowed his lungs to work for a few seconds, but when he didn't answer, she assumed the worst and threw his body away from her in a wave. He hit the ground hard and felt a sharp pain run along his side as a crack rung out in the air. His eyes were closed now, but he saw the faint shimmer of moonlight through his eyelids illuminating his face in the darkness._

_She approached him slowly now; he heard her gasp before he felt her presence next to him and her knees touching his arm. Her voice still harsh, but now pleading as well, scolding him for sneaking up and apologizing at the same time._

_He lay there as blackness started to curl at the edges of his mind, and he pictured the beautiful colored flames shown to him and Aang by the dragons at the Sun Temple. Then, almost instinctually, his fist shot out with bright orange fire leaping across the knuckles, which sent her torso back to hit into the ground next to him._

_Her shock was amplified as the air was knocked out of her in a single breath, and she felt him losing consciousness next to her as she silently followed his lead._

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**And there you have it. See, that wasn't too bad, was it? Hope it wasn't too bad. Anyway, there's more to come...**

**Okay, so this is my first Zutara fanfic… actually, it's my first fanfic period, so please review!!**


	2. Coming To

**Thanks so much to people who reviewed; I literally jumped up and down when I saw that I had reviews… and a favorite for my story too!! I hope the previous chapter's POV-switching didn't throw you off too much (because it was kind of fun to write and I might do it again). Also, sorry it was so short, but it's kind of a prequel, so it really doesn't have to be too long. The rest will be longer, don't worry.**

**In the future, when something is in italics, it means that it is someone's thoughts. But for some reason, I thought it would be better to do Zuko and Katara's dream/memory bit in italics- I guess for dramatic effect, or something. Who knows what's going on inside this head of mine? Also, when I insert border lines, it means that I am switching away from the current person's POV and leaving them alone for a little while. I hope that doesn't get too confusing, but I couldn't think of any other way to do it. After all, this story is not just about Katara and it is tiring to be speaking as one character for so long even if she is the easist character to write as. I can only assume it is just as tiring to read, so this should give the reader somewhat of a break.**

**Oh, and since I forgot to do this before…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, clearly.**

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The first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was that my entire body felt sore and stiff.

_I must've been practicing too hard last night and overdone myself. Crud. Aang would just have to focus on earthbending today and resume waterbending tomorrow when I felt more able. I hated affecting Sokka's Grand Schedule with my own personal whims, but Aang already knew quite a bit of waterbending, and I felt like hogmonkey poop; we could afford to miss one day._

I turned my head slowly to the side and breathed in deeply, feeling my neck and ribs protest in the effort. That wasn't normal.

I turned my eyes towards Toph's side of the bed, but it was made up as if no one had slept there for days. I reached my hand out under the blanket and felt the sheets; they were cold. Toph usually slept in until the rest of the Gaang was up and dressing. I wondered what was so important it had woken her up hours earlier. I leaned my head back against the cool rock of the wall to try and sooth the pounding in my mind and heard a groan from across the room. I looked up at the little girl sitting on a stool, who was yawning and stretching as she uncurled her small form.

"Hey, Sugar Queen, you're finally up." The blind girl turned towards the closed door and yelled, "Snoozles, come talk to your sister so I can get something to eat!"

There was some shuffling and noises from out in the hall, then Sokka burst in the room.

"Katara! You're awake! Okay, Toph, you're off watchdog duty."

"Sweet," said the short earthbender, jumping off her stool and running out of the room.

"Sokka, I don't think I can work with Aang on waterbending today, that shouldn't set us back too far, should it?"

"Absolutely not! Toph planned out the next three weeks of earthbending lessons, so you wouldn't have to teach him at all. You just focus on getting better right now and don't worry about Aang."

"Getting better?"

"Of course. You've been out cold the past three days. Zuko too. The bruises on your back were already starting to look better yesterday morning, although we haven't moved you since then, so I suppose you might be a bit stiff right now..."

His voice trailed off when he saw the look on my face.

"What?"

"Three days? I've been knocked out for THREE DAYS! And there are bruises... on my back?"

I leaned to the side and ran my fingers along my spine. _Ouch. Yes, there were definitely bruises on my back. I could feel the places where the skin was swollen. Shoot. Sokka isn't lying. Which means that my dream... wasn't a dream! What happened again?_ I was practicing my bending, Zuko was doing god-knows-what and I hurt him.

"Oh, my goodness, Sokka. Where's Zuko? Is he okay? I didn't hurt him that badly, did I? Oh, my goodness, that idiot! I could kill him... if I didn't already. Sokka, I didn't kill him already, did I? Did I? Oh, my gosh, Aang's going to kill me! I didn't kill him though, right?"

Sokka gave me a curious look and shook his head.

"No, you didn't kill him. But you did break one of his ribs, and he still hasn't woken up. Actually, we were hoping that if you were feeling better, you could go in there and, maybe try to heal his rib up, or something. I mean, we wrapped it in gauze and cloth, but I'm not sure what'll happen if it heals crooked or... you know."

I jumped out of bed and, though I was somewhat dizzy, got down the hallway with minimal help from Sokka.

Zuko was lying in Aang's bed propped up on pillows with a blanket pulled up to his waist. His chest was bare and the area just above his abs was wrapped in white cloth.

_I can't believe I did this to him. What if he had gotten hurt so badly that he died? Aang would never get to learn firebending and we could lose the war, all because of me. Of course even if we could win the war without firebending, the Fire Nation would have no Firelord. Zuko was after all, a Prince._

I wanted to slap him for what he had almost made me do, but I figured this would be more effective with him not in bed and not passed out by my doing, so I sat on the bed next to him and started unwrapping his ribs.

"Sokka, will you go get me my waterskin from the kitchen?"

He turned and walked out the door, leaving us alone. When all of Zuko's bandages were sitting on the table in front of me, I examined his ribs and ran my fingers along the length of his cut. It was no longer bleeding and was already starting to heal nicely, but I could see what a bloody mess it had been.

After Sokka came back, I spread water from the skin onto my hands like gloves and ran the gloves over his side, pushing the water deep into his skin until I could feel the air slowly moving in and out of his lungs with the water. His ribs started to glow as I mentally fit the bones back together like a puzzle, the water following my direction, healing and repairing.

As soon as his bone was in one piece and his eyelids started to flutter, I jumped up, pulling the water out of him and corking it into my waterskin as I ran for the door. In my haste, I nearly plowed over a startled Airbender outside the room.

"Aang!"

"Katara! You're awake!"

"Ya, I was just, you know, healing him," I said shutting the door I had just come out of behind my back. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Actually, to see you. Toph said you were awake and there's, um, something I, well we, wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure, Aang. What is it?"

"Let's talk outside," he said, throwing a glance at his bedroom door as if, by looking at the door, he would be able to see through it to Sokka and Zuko.

I swayed for a moment on the spot, catching the doorknob again to steady myself, before I hurriedly followed the little Airbender outside. A short way ahead of us I could see a small clearing lined with rocks and trees. In the middle, Toph sat comfortably cross-legged on the ground talking to the Duke and Haru, who were seated on two rock pedestals, and Teo. I noticed there were two pedestals still unoccupied. As we walked, the Duke and Haru got up and walked through a doorway with Teo bringing up the rear. When we were closer, Toph snapped her head around to face us and hit her fist against the ground. The pedestals sank down and disappeared. All of them had clearly had some kind of meeting here earlier.

"How ya feeling, Sugar Queen? Here. Sit," she said patting the space next to her.

We sat and Aang shifted for a few seconds before settling into his usual position, glider across the lap.

"I'm okay. A little tired, sore, but nothing too bad, nothing that won't be fine in a few days."

I smiled a small smile to emphasize the point and this seemed to satisfy Aang, but the corners of Toph's mouth arched down slightly. I noticed, but Toph didn't call attention to my lie. Clearly, neither one of us wanted to dump any more on Aang than was absolutely necessary. I had forgotten that you just couldn't lie to Toph, although Azula had confused her a bit. _Note to self: Either stop putting yourself in situations that require you to lie, or learn to lie better._

"I'm glad to hear it, Katara," said Aang, looking up at me with his big grey eyes. "I was worried about you."

"Awww." I considered giving him a hug until I realized that he would feel the weakness in my arms, so I kissed him lightly on the cheek instead.

"Um, hello? Where's mine?"

I smiled at Toph and kissed her cheek too. Again, I had to smack my instinct to hug her too. _Oh, what the hell. She already knows I'm more hurt than I look._ I threw my arms around her and she smiled.

"Hey, hey, hey. Now that's too mushy." She pushed me off gently and I sat back down.

"So, is that all you two wanted to tell me? That you were worried? Or did you want to dump something else on me?" I said, smiling, but Aang just looked uncomfortable again.

"Actually, Katara, I'm glad you brought that up, because there is something we wanted to talk to you about. Aang, why don't you..."

"Well, we thought it would be better to tell you and Zuko separately," he began, clearing his throat and avoiding my eyes. "We've decided that we aren't going to stay here in the temple. There are some small, deserted Earth Kingdom towns, just two days on Appa northeast of here that would be perfect for Toph, Haru, and I to practice earthbending in, and that would give Sokka and the Duke plenty of time to practice their hunting and fishing and such, not to mention Teo would have plenty of natural, wild plants to work with."

"And when we are a little better, Zuko and I could practice our bending too," I added, trying to put him at ease, but he just shifted uncomfortably again.

"Exactly," Toph continued for him. "That's what we thought. There are lots of supplies here, in fact, as long as you stay here, you should have all the tools you need to keep yourself entertained for months, and defend yourself if anyone should attack you. Not that anyone would, because we're basically seperated from the rest of the world, but it makes perfect sense to stay. Also, you like to cook and take care of people, and do all those other endearing, annoying things that mothers do, so this arrangement works out for everybody."

"Wait, I'm a bit confused. I thought we were leaving. Isn't that what you just said, Aang?"

"Yes, we are leaving," he said, not looking up from the new staff in his lap.

"But Toph said that we're staying."

"Yes, you are staying... you and Zuko," he murmured, even more quietly.

"WHAT!" I screamed, jumping up off the ground and wobbling on my feet in the effort. "You're leaving us here alone while you go off to some other part of the world unprotected to hit some rocks around!"

"Relax, Katara, he wouldn't be unprotected," Toph said, pulling me limply back down and ignoring my 'hitting rocks around' comment. "He's got me and Haru to protect him. And if worst came to worst, Snoozles could even help. Listen, while you were out, I had an idea. See, Aang was telling me how it was when he was growing up with the monks. Tell her Aang…"

"Well," he began, looking at Toph now, as if he had just noticed she was there and then back down to his glider. "When I was with the monks, we all tried to be positive and accepting, and if there were some people that were being hostile towards one another, the monks would send them away to live alone for a few weeks, without all of the disturbances of the others, to work out their problems. Then, someone would go bring them back, and they would have gotten over their hostility towards each other-"

He broke off and Toph picked up his silence, "Katara, the rest of us are adjusting to a new member of the group okay. I mean, I'll admit, it's a little weird, but we're getting used to it and Zuko's telling lame jokes, and making nasty tea, but he's trying to make this work. You're not. Every time one of us walks into the same room as you two, it's like stepping onto a silent battleground or a minefield. You may not talk, but you glare daggers at each other when the other's not looking and the rest of us never know if something we say might set you two off arguing. Even Sokka has noticed, and you know him, if it's not covered in meat..." She nodded towards Aang and gave him a meaningful look to start talking again. This time when he spoke, he didn't take his eyes off of her sightless ones.

"You two really hurt each other the other night and, even if it was an accident, can you imagine what would have happened if it had been worse or something had happened to you… or Zuko?"

I winced at the thought and I was sure Toph felt it because she turned her body away from Aang so that she was facing me.

"Aang would have no waterbending master and no firebending master which would make any resistance we had left fall apart , but we would also lose you which would make us all sad. Can you imagine Sokka? He would probably still be so depressed when the time came to kill the Firelord, that he would rather curl up and die than go out and fight him. He needs you Sugar Queen, we all do. You may not realize how much we depend on your strength and love, but we do. We need you. Even when you're being suffocatingly motherly, we still love you. That's why it hurts me to feel so much anger in you. I don't pretend to know what has happened to you since we lost at Ba Sing Se, but it actually hurts me to feel someone so conflicted inside. It feels like I imagine Zuko used to. Your aura has changed and it's hurting me. Upseting me when I'm trying to be happy. You two need to work out whatever the issue is. No one can do it for you."

I didn't know what to say so I wrapped my arms around my knees and rested my chin on my arms. Because of me, our side would have had a basically lost cause with the avatar only knowing two elements, and everyone knew it. Everyone, not just me. I bit my lip and a single tear rolled down the side of my cheek. They all thought I was a danger to the group. That Zuko and I were poisoning the atmosphere of the group by being hostile. I was hurting Toph now. The girl I tried so hard to protect. I was hurting her. _What true mother would do that to her child?_ All I wanted to do was take care of them all and love them all and I was hurting them instead. Poison and blood instead of love.

"Katara," she said, putting one hand on the top of my foot. "Just do this for me, please?"

And I swear in that moment my heart broke.

I got up off the ground slowly, feigning calm. I owed them that much at least, although all I really wanted to do was hit something. Toph never asked me for anything and I didn't want to freak out with her or Aang there, so I just stood there for a few seconds, clenching and unclenching my fists, and trying to see if I would be able to control my voice too. I had controlled it so many other times and this was no different.

"Fine. When you come back in three weeks, we will be all worked out and non-hostile," I said in a cool voice, offering half a smile; then I turned and walked away.

* * *

"Thanks for covering for me, Toph."

She shrugged. "No problem, Twinkle Toes. Besides, now that she thinks it was my idea, she'll probably at least try to go along with it. You know how she tries so hard to be like a better mom for me. She tries for too, of course, but I think she feels bad for me, because of my parents and all. I could guess that your monks weren't phsyco."

"Still, I lost it and you totally saved me back there."

"Hey, I'm your earthbending teacher, right? Protecting you from potential danger, it's what I'm supposed to do, and trust me, that could've gotten ugly. Katara's been basically PMSing since we lost at Ba Sing Se."

She punched him in the arm affectionately, then backed up and got into a fighting stance.

"C'mon, let's spar before Sugar Queen gets back from massacring some unsuspecting tree and we have to leave. Two days on Appa to you is two days without seeing anything for me, remember?"

She stamped her foot on the ground and shot her fists out, sending boulders flying at Aang, which he dodged lightly, lifting himself a few inches up off the ground so that Toph couldn't see him. He spun around and shot an air blast at her, but she just brought up a shield which she broke into two pieces and sent them flying at Aang. He deflected them and encased her in a dirt tower, which she crumbled with her feet. A series of earth pillars flew at Aang and he slowed them all before sending them back, one by one. While Toph was busy breaking up the pillars, he pulled a small amount of water up from the dirt, which Katara had taught him, and shot it at Toph. She stumbled a few steps back wiping her face.

"You cheated."

"No way. It's not my fault you don't know how to waterbend."

She stuck her toungue out and punched a massive sheet of rock at him.

He shattered it into dust which rained down on them like snow, and they both danced around, playing in the dirt, like two lovers in a rain shower, until Haru, Teo, and the Duke returned, their packs in their arms. Shortly after, Sokka came out with a limping and unhappy Zuko and they had to load up Appa.

* * *

I walked back into the clearing just as Sokka, Haru, the Duke, and Toph were getting situated on Appa's saddle with all of the gear they would need. It was a heavy load, so Aang and Teo were going to fly next to Appa with their gliders. This meant that the group could fly the distance in two days without resting. Somehow, the stupid prince had limped outside, so I stood across the clearing from him, leaving as much space as possible between us. The three on the saddle waved and smiled at us, seemingly oblivious to what torture they were putting me through, so I waved and faked a smile back for Toph.

Aang said the magic words and Appa took off. We stood in the clearing, watching them fly off; I dropped my hand down to my side, but continued to fake smile until I could no longer see the flying bison in the distance. Then I wiped it off my face and mirrored Zuko's impassive expression. Neither of us looked at each other, we just kept looking out at the horizon as if looking out could make Appa turn around and fly back.

"I hate you," I said, my voice flat.

"I know," he said.

I turned around and walked lightly inside to my room, shutting the door hard enough so that I was sure he had heard it, but not hard enough that I seemed like a child; I could be mature and distant too. Not that I cared what he thought. In fact, I didn't care at all. I couldn't remember the last person that had made me so mad, and it frustrated me that I didn't have any control over my own emotions. I threw myself onto the bed even though I wasn't tired at all, after all, dinner had only been a few hours ago. But it didn't matter, as long as I didn't have to be near him. He could limp his own way back to bed for all I cared.

And that is exactly what he did a minute later. He shuffled, painfully slow, past my room and into Aang's room next door. It was enough that I almost felt bad for him, especially since his condition was my fault, but not quite. I heard him turning in his bed for a few minutes before he went silent. He wouldn't be comfortable at all tonight, but I could let him suffer and heal his bruises and scratches in the morning. I had every right to be mad at him; it was all his fault Sokka and the others had left… all his fault.

I stared at the ceiling, and soon red dots started to float before my eyes. Then the red turned to black, and the black spread all over until I couldn't see and I passed out.

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**Hope this one is better than the first, although I'm not too crazy about the confrontation with Aang, Toph, and Katara. Toph's character is not really turning out quite right somehow if you ask me. When I was writing that section, I was considering killing her off just so I wouldn't have to write about her. Just kidding. I love Toph and if I ever actually kill her off in this story, you all have permission to swear your darling heads off at me and I will take it with grace.**

**Oh well, enough babble, practice is the only way my writing's going to get any better, that and your reviews of course. So please review! Thanks!!**

**Update: Hope ya'll liked the updated version- I accidentally left out Haru, the Duke, and Teo. (smacks own forehead) So thanks to **AvAtAr Is My LiFe** for catching that one. You see, this is why I need your reviews people.**


	3. Boredom and Fruit

**I rewrote chapter two because I accidentally left out a few characters. (oops) So if you haven't read the new one, please do before you read this.**

**Sorry this chapter took so long for me to write and post, but I'll get the next one up sooner. Cookies go to the people who reviewed and even PMed me to see if I had died or what.**

**Also, a huge thanks to _SylverEyes_ for being my first ever beta. She changed my garbled crap into the loveliness you see for this chapter, so much love to her as well.**

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When I woke up the next morning, the sun was just rising. Historically, it had always been firebenders that woke up at dawn, but I had risen with the sun since my father left for war with the other men. I guess it had just become a habit while Sokka and I were taking care of each other. Someone had to wake up early to check on things and start the day going and I had stepped up. Sokka was terribly sad when Dad left; he was so much more hurt than I was, and I knew it, even when he tried to man-up and not let it show.

I walked over to a bare section of the wall and pushed lightly. It swung open to reveal a large closet for my clothes and other belongings. Not that I needed so much room. Before Sokka and I had found Aang, or rather he had found us, I would have loved to fill the closet with the beautiful clothes that Gran Gran made for me with so much love. But now that we were on the run from the Firenation every day and more specifically, since the day of the eclipse, I could only have one set of under/practice clothing, which I wore all the time, and one set of outer clothing along with Sokka's green bag from Earth Rumble and my four fighting water pouches, three of which hung beside my robes. I hesitated, feeling the temperature of the air on my bare midsection, arms, and legs before closing the closet again without grabbing anything.

I walked back over to my bed-side table, opened the drawer, and took out my mother's necklace. The only time I kept it in the drawer instead of on my neck was when I was sleeping, when I wore my Firenation ribbon instead. Originally, I thought that in case we were kidnapped, the kidnappers would think I was Firenation and therefore not expect me to also be a waterbender. This explanation made perfect sense while we were in the Firenation, but it wasn't the real reason I wore it. I couldn't tell them the real reason I wore it to bed, mostly because I didn't know myself. It just helped me fall asleep, and I had grown to need it.

The crimson ribbon went in the place the sapphire one had been just a moment ago and I turned on my heel, giving the door a pull behind me with just the tips of my fingers.

I stopped for a second outside of Aang's room, but all was silent. Stupid firebender. 'I rise with the sun.' What kind of crap is that? Lazy butt was still lying in bed probably dreaming about how I would apologize to his royal self and pledge myself to tend to his every whim just like the stupid servants in his own ugly palace. Or maybe he just thought that if he played silent, I would feel bad for all the pain I had caused him. Like that was going to happen.

The hallway was eerily empty and the kitchen was far too quiet, so I searched through all the empty cabinets to give me something to do, occasionally finding a pot or pan we had brought along, stolen or found, not even slightly bothering to quiet the doors as they slammed shut until I found the oldest teapot we had in the last cabinet. It was an old banged up silver kettle with a black handle that looked like it had been through a war (it kind of had) and that whistled unbelievably loud when your water boiled. Toph had filched it from some mugger while she was on her gambling spree before the eclipse. Of course, stealing from a mugger is not stealing at all really and it was a good teapot. I filled it all the way to the top with water, hung it in the old-fashioned fireplace over some wood, and started looking around for the spark rocks we had picked up in Ba Sing Se before it belonged to the Firenation. Shoot. They weren't in the cabinet where we always left them and Aang wasn't around to light me even the smallest, most timid fire. He and the others had probably taken the rocks with them to the earth kingdom town and forgotten to tell me. I ran my hand along the shelf under the island in the center of the room where we kept our spare rocks out of the way, but all I found was my fourth water pouch. Lovely. They had taken the backup spark rocks too.

'You should have all the tools you need to keep you entertained for months.' Our first day alone and I was already not entertained. This would be just peachy. No no no. Stop it. You need to at least try to be positive for Toph. Think positive.

"Okay," I said aloud with determination and filled my pouch from the natural fountain tap.

I walked back towards mine and Aang's rooms with the pouch in hand and grabbed an unused torch off of the wall as I went. Again, I hesitated outside of the room, but I didn't really have a free hand with which to knock so I just pushed the door open with my hip and walked inside. Zuko was sitting upright in the bed in the same exact position as before, only this time, he was conscious and looking out the side window across from the bed and to the left of the door. I stood in the doorway for a moment waiting for him to turn his attention to me. When he didn't, I just walked softly in and waited at the foot of his bed calmly. He still didn't look at me, so I walked around the left side of the bed in between his bed and the window and shifted my weight so that my body was directly in the way of his line of sight. Only then did his eyes lazily drift up to meet mine. His eyes were bloodshot and watery, his pupils were partially dilated, and he had faint purple circles under his eyes. I dropped the torch on the floor and put the pouch on my lap as I sat on the bed next to his waist. His eyes followed mine, but he was a second behind. He was trying not to let me see how hurt he was. I sighed.

"Zuko, what the hell happened to you? You look like crap."

"Good morning," he said. His voice, rasping slightly, came down another note lower than my own with the sarcasm in his words. "Same to you, and I think you can guess what happened to me. I'm pretty sure you were there."

"No. I mean, you didn't look like this yesterday when I was healed you. I'm positive."

"I had some trouble getting to sleep last night."

"But once you fell asleep…" I prompted. Zuko never said more than a few words at a time to me, so even with the flat tone in his voice, this was an improvement. Toph might be happy if I could just get him to talk to me.

He looked back out the window and said in a slightly bored voice, as if only answering my question for medical purposes and not for my interest, "Whenever I turned or breathed too deeply, I would wake up."

I reached my arms out to unwrap his ribs and he turned to face me. I could feel his eyes on me as I pulled the cloth off layer by layer, but I kept my head down so that he couldn't see the light blush on my cheeks. I had dealt with my fair share of shirtless guys, what with my healing and fighting, but I wasn't used to them staring at me so intently or watching me so closely while I worked on their wounds. It was unnerving, so I tried to ignore him, but I could feel his eyes on me as I bent some water out of my pouch and moved it around my hands up my wrists.

"Okay," I said looking at him when my cheeks cooled. "Where does it hurt the most?"

He paused a moment, as if deciding something, then seemed to give up and said, "My back…"

A tiny crease appeared above my brows.

"…and my rib."

"Okay," I said, half to myself. "I'll work on your rib a bit and then see if I can do anything about your back after."

He glanced out the window and then back to me, as if deciding which one he'd rather watch. Apparently I won, because without looking at him, after a minute, the hair on my neck stood up and I knew he was looking at me. I pressed just the tips of my fingers to his skin and pushed the water into him again, so that he started to glow. In my peripheral vision I saw him turn his attention to the glow. As he watched his own glowing body, I closed my eyes and relaxed, letting my water work its magic and not even consciously directing it. His skin felt different from anything I had ever healed before, smooth and hot. I winced and paused as a pain shot up my wrist and then continued healing him. As my finger pads swirled around his side and front, I couldn't help but feel the difference between his muscles and my own. One would think that muscles were muscles, but that was not the case at all.

* * *

After a few minutes of watching the peasant try to keep herself together, I felt a soothing, calming feeling spreading through my lungs. It was somewhat distracting, so I settled for watching her fingers dance over my chest and stomach, pulling the water along with their touch and only glancing at her occasionally. She closed her eyes after a bit and all the tension left her face. Sometimes when I looked at her, I saw so much written on her face. She looked so troubled and like she had been hurt badly before. I didn't like to see her like that because it was like looking in a mirror. Somehow though, it was the exact opposite, because her expression would change as soon as someone else came in sight and I couldn't see any more hurt. Every time I saw her, she seemed to be more and more scarred, like she wasn't healing the right way; but each time I saw her, she also gave something else to someone. While her pain made her want to give more and more to the world, my pain made me unable to relate to people. Then I ended up having to blow off steam… or fire, and everyone thought I was messed up for letting the energy out. When I came to teach Aang firebending, I couldn't firebend as I always had been able to, and it took me back to being a child; my sister always proving herself better than me when Ozai wanted to see how much progress we were making. But I had been ignoring that feeling for so long, just thinking about Ozai and Azula made me angry. The waterbender dealt with her problems by giving and I dealt with mine by taking. It was so unfair that she could just choose how to deal and I couldn't… not to mention she could go crazy without any real repercussions, whereas I couldn't make a single slip now that they were all watching me like messenger hawks. Even if I had learned a new angry-free way to firebend, it didn't mean I was anger-free and it still didn't mean I was off the hook.

* * *

All of a sudden, I felt a shift in my water inside of Zuko. I opened my eyes and studied my hands to see the problem. I was almost out of water and they had moved a bit too low down onto his abs although he didn't seem to have noticed. I raised my hands a bit then pulled them away and the few drops of remaining water evaporated in the air. A drop of sweat rolled down the side of my face from the new heat in the room.

"Zuko. What are you doing? Calm down."

He didn't even listen to me and, instead, unconsciously breathed out a jet of hot air that raised goose bumps on my arm.

"Zuko!" I stood up away from the bed and the water pouch fell to the floor spilling water everywhere.

He just looked up at me in surprise. "What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?" Calm down, Katara. "You're getting angry now. Please don't."

"You know this for a fact. How can you possibly know what I'm feeling?" he said, looking doubtfully at me.

I shook my head at his expression. "I don't generally, in fact, you keep everything so bottled up inside of you, that no one can ever tell what you're really feeling. The rest of us share when we have a problem, but you…you're so cold and distant all the time. Except when you get angry, your body starts to heat up and all though I don't mind the heat, I don't want you to get out of control… especially when you're hurt like this."

"Out of control! Oh, so you can sit here and lecture me about control? Do you actually remember why I'm here?"

"Because you chose to turn your back on your nation, I KNOW. You're a saint."

"NO, not here with your group."

"Oh geez, okay, sometimes when two people love each other very much…"

"Not here on this earth either! I meant here, right here, lying in this bed! I'm here because of you, Katara! Because of you! You lecture me about control like some motherly saint, but you were the stupid one, you were the crazy one, and you were the one who attacked me! Then I hit you back because I was freakin' pissed off! Not so much because you attacked me like an insane person, even though I'm part of the group now, but because you are such a hypocrite. Because for all your talk, you mess up too! You messed up big time Katara. For all her talk, Miss High And Mighty messes up. And what did the others do? They let it go! They're only doing this togetherness shit because they care about you, not as some sort of punishment. And me? You hate me like I personally insulted you by choosing to help my sister instead of the boy I was raised to hate. What did I do wrong Katara?! I apologized for chasing you all over the place, and for abandoning you guys in the crystal caverns! I left my family and my title! I left everything behind! But it's not enough for you, is it? It never will be. It's enough for everyone else, but not for you. Because you're perfect and you never screw up. Well, we proved that that theory is bullshit. So what now Katara? Is it enough now that we're on the same page to start with? Now that we both have things to apologize for?"

"No," I said, my voice harder than steel. "It's not. Because we're still not even, nor will we ever be. I may have 'freaked out' and 'screwed up,' but nothing I do will ever be as bad as what have done."

He seemed to get even madder at that, but for some reason, the room started to return to its normal temperature and his breathing evened out. He glared at me hard and I glared back.

Eventually I turned and walked to the doorway. "I'll be back in two or three hours."

Then I turned around and walked out, and he didn't say anything to try to stop me, even though I hadn't gotten to his back yet. Good. That's the way I wanted it. Let his back hurt. I didn't give a damn. If Aang hadn't told me to stay here with Zuko, I'd be gone right now. But he had told me, and Zuko needed me to heal his injuries and to feed him. Of course, neither one of us would get any real food to eat until I could light a fire to cook something with, and since Zuko was the only available fire-starter I could find, we'd both go hungry. But I liked the possibility of going hungry more than I liked asking him to do me a favor.

* * *

"Is there anything to eat on this bison?"

"Chill, Snoozles. For one thing, you just ate a half an hour ago. And, no. There isn't any more food on the bison because Aang and Teo have the rest of it and you have been eating nonstop since we left. Seriously, what's wrong with you? You ate up all the snacks we had packed on Appa. And those were supposed to last the four of us until tomorrow morning. Even you don't normally eat this much."

"I'm sorry, but I'm just eating because I'm really queasy. I hate leaving my baby sister all alone with the new Zuko. I mean, I know he's on our side now, but I just don't feel right about it, it's still so weird."

"So you don't think she could take him?" Toph said, sitting up as if getting ready to punch him should he make a sexist comment.

"I know she could take him, but there's always a possibility… if something happens and he beats her…" Sokka said. Toph laid her head back down on the bison and closed her eyes.

"Why don't you believe in her?"

Sokka turned to Haru to address his question. "I do believe in her, and I love her so much. But I'm also scared for her. I swear, if he touches one hair on her head…"

He pulled his sword out of the sheath and ran the flat side across the side of his pants absently.

"I just can't wait until we touch down. I know you two are used to this flying, but it makes me queasy too," Haru said, after a minute.

The Duke took his helmet off and placed it in the earthbender's lap. "In case you need it. Please don't throw up on the saddle."

"Mmhmm I agree. If you two queasy guys need to barf, do it over the side or something. Although I don't know what you're complaining about. You can see."

Sokka nodded absently. "This is true…"

"Hey, I know what we can do to pass the time. Who wants to play a game?" said the smallest boy on Appa.

Haru turned to the little boy patiently. "What game?"

The Duke sniffed yet again and said, "I don't know, who's got one?"

They all went silent. After a few minutes of thought, the Duke spoke up, "Okay, I got one. Guess what game."

"Ok. What game?" said Haru, playing along for the little boy's sake.

"Okay. Who wants to play Li Says?"

"On top of a flying bison? What is there to do?" Sokka said.

"Good point… how about I Spy?"

"Hellooo," Toph said, waving her hand in front of her eyes for emphasis.

"Oh, ya."

They all sat quietly for another few minutes.

"So, are you sure there's no food?" Sokka burst out.

"Okay, now you're definitely not worried. You just want something to eat because you're bored," said Toph.

Sokka muttered something under his breath and looked out to the horizon.

"Sokka, I know you don't really want to go. Trust me, none of us do. But Aang could really use some practice without lots of distractions."

Sokka just kept looking out over the water.

"And don't make the mistake of thinking you're the only one that's worried about Katara either," Haru said.

When he saw the look on Sokka's face, he added, "We all are."

Sokka watched him silently until the sun set, when he and the two others curled up to sleep. Finally Sokka turned over and muttered, as if in his sleep, "I've got my eye on you, moustache man."

Next to him, Toph smiled.

* * *

I closed my eyes and just listened to the heart inside my chest beat. Without realizing it, my breathing had slowed to match its pace. I felt nostalgic but also bored out of my mind. I had already swept every hallway in the building, gathered all the nuts on our level of the temple, picked some fruit, refilled my water pouch, diced the fruit and mixed it with the nuts, washed my outer clothes in the fountain outside, healed some sleeping Zuko ribs twice, and taken a nap. I was still too weak to get any serious bending done and I was completely out of ideas. I considered going in to heal Zuko again just to have some human contact, but that seemed a bit excessive and it took a lot out of me.

I rolled over on the bed and off the side. I lifted my feet off the floor and stood on my hands next to the bed for a minute, then dropped my feet and landed in a backbend. I collapsed my backbend so I was lying on the floor, and I stared at the ceiling. So bored. I sighed. I need other people, at least someone to talk to or something to do. And it's only day one. After this, only twenty more to go. What I really wanted to do was go work out. But I didn't want to go without Toph to keep me company and make more weights for me if I needed them. My workout buddy was miles away.

I rolled over on to my stomach and stood up. I walked into the kitchen, adjusted the still unlit wood, and pulled the fruit bowl in front of a chair against the island. I started to eat the rest of the nuts and fruit, but I only ate a few pieces before I pushed the bowl away. I hated oranges. There were plenty of mangos and papayas around, but I had picked oranges instead. Why? Because I knew they were Aang and Teo's favorite. I sighed and put a cloth over it so it would stay fresh longer. Did oranges last three weeks? I had no idea. Bored bored bored bored bored.

I turned around and walked to my room and then to the kitchen and then to my room again just to give myself something to do. As I passed Zuko's room the third time on my way back to my own room, I surprised myself by knocking quietly. There was no answer so I just pushed the door open a crack. Zuko was still asleep, which was good in a sense because he probably hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, but it was also bad because I didn't even have anyone to yell at me now. I was so lonely. I stood in the doorway a long time just looking at his sleeping form and wishing with all my might that it was anyone else in the bed, so that I could curl up next to them. I wanted to be near someone; I missed them all so much. Then I sighed and closed the door gently. Zuko and I were not close like that. I leaned against his closed door and closed my eyes, sliding down to the floor with my back still pressed against the door. I sat there for hours with my eyes closed listening to the birds and waiting for him to wake up so I could go in to heal him and he would have to say something to me. But eventually when I heard him stir, I was too weak to get myself up, and his breathing evened out again. So I just stayed there, and when the sun started to set, I curled up there and went to sleep, my breaths slowing to match those of the prince lying in bed just feet from me.

* * *

Meanwhile, farther away and hovering in the air, Aang placed the snoring Duke into Teo's lap for the night, and pulled a sleeping earthbender into his own arms. He held the girl with one arm tightly against his body when he took off again to fly between Appa and Teo and held on to his glider with the other. If Appa wasn't going to sleep at all, he would need the lightest load he could have, even if it meant a much harder time for the two sky born guys, now weighted down with passengers. Haru slept silently on the back of the saddle and Sokka, who had been given more food, snored gently as he lay sprawled out across the front of the saddle.

It didn't matter if Sokka was asleep at the reigns. Aang knew that Appa didn't need a conscious rider to steer him if the Avatar was flying in front, because the bison would follow that monk anywhere. To a training town or to the end of the earth. It didn't matter. Trust was trust and love was love. That's what it meant to be best friends with someone for life. An unending supply of trust and love. The more you give, the more you get. Always.

* * *

**So there it is. Please review and tell me what you all think. What will happen next? Who knows. Not me. Let me know if you love it or hate it and leave me lots of pretty criticism for next chapter, which will be up soon.**


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